For The Love Of People No. 3: Elisha Gray
This week we start off with a GEM of a human, Elisha Gray. During my short and growing career I have already had the pleasure to call Elisha a consultant, mentor, coach and most importantly a friend. Elisha has been in the people space for as long as people have been taking the people space seriously (..holy shit I said people a lot) and most recently started her coaching practice; seriously if you or your organization are in need of a coach hit that link. Elisha has the special ability to blend the needs of people in a holistic and reflective way that helps them align their motivations to their goals and has helped DOZENS!!! of orgs grow with her people-first hands on approach. Badass✊.
While she doesn't actively do HR/People ops stuff as much these days Elisha was kind enough to really dig into her years of experience and wealth of organizational and leadership skills to answer my questions about COVID-19's affect on the workplace. Have a read and please reach out if you have more to say, or to Elisha for any of your coaching and growth needs.
NK: 1) Based on your experience, what do you think are the top 3 needs of people in organizations that are trying to navigate through COVID?
EG: The first thing that comes to mind is awareness. The organizations for which we work are now challenged to adapt quickly, and increase their flexibility and understanding. Although covidtimes (as my partner likes to call it) are novel, they’ll be expected to lead with eyes wide open for what employees are experiencing, needing, and saying. In order to be aware, they’ll need to listen closely, engage in more personal conversations, and support people in the ways they want to be supported. (Also, let’s get better at checking our own biases and, for some, privilege.) Building awareness can also be taken as data gathering, analysis, and application/iteration - it doesn’t need to be a complicated approach. In short, I want organizations to ask even more questions of their team members and then earnestly listen.
Empathy is up next. While awareness comes from the top and trickles down, empathy needs to be braided into all levels of the organization, spanning not only reporting relationships, but between colleagues and peers too. We already know that empathy is a component of emotional intelligence and that it generates an interest in and appreciation for others, paving the way to more productive working relationships. So employers and employees alike will benefit from either a more empathetic approach or a concentrated effort in building empathy skills. Uncertainty and stress levels are raised for most people right now, and you might find yourself being easily annoyed or triggered by your colleagues. If that’s the case, try this ultra quick micropractice for empathy I picked up during mindfulness training with Google’s Search Inside Yourself program:
3-Breath Mindfulness Micropractice for Empathy (shifting into connection)
One in/out breath to settle your own mind
One in/out breath to notice a similarity between you and the other person
One in/out breath to offer a kindness to the other person
And finally, there’s self-compassion. The concept of self-compassion is essentially acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself as you would to another person. It’s not only new to most people, but also extremely hard to do without regular practice. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research says “Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?” I think every single person inside of organizations (or otherwise) could spend a little generosity on themselves right about now. Let’s give ourselves a healthy dose of love and kindness for how we’re rejigging our entire lives from commute time, income expectations, career goals, raising and supporting families, caring for loved ones - the list is endless. We’re not perfect. But we are all already amazing.
Ooh! Add some self-compassion to your Micropractice for Empathy by adding a 4th breath:
One in/out breath to offer a kindness to yourself
NK: Culturally, what would you like to see a spotlight shone on? Why do you wish to shine a light there?
EG: Since COVID-19 began, nearly every client I work with has mentioned something along the lines of poor productivity, poor focus, poor work/life boundaries, and high stress or pressure. It’s not like these things didn’t exist before covidtimes, but they seem to be much more prevalent and pervasive now. This is bad, but there are ways to better manage ourselves inside of these new realities: meditation being the one I’d like to spotlight. Backed by scientific research, meditation offers an incredible array of benefits. Think of it as exercise for your brain. Areas of the brain can be developed and actually rewired to enhance positive traits like focus and decision making and shrink the less positive ones like fear, anxiety and stress. Plus, the work you do inside of your meditation practice can have life-long effects so the regular investment pays off in dividends.
Have 10 minutes? Watch this 2-minute explainer on meditation (video) and follow it up with a starter meditation led by Sharon Salzberg. *(Nate's note... you should really watch this!)*
NK: There’s been a significant change in how we work. Many people are worried about how this may affect their jobs, what would you say to people that are on edge about the implications of COVID and the workplace?
EG: Everyone’s situation is so beautifully unique and this is a deep question! I’ve noticed an uptick in conversations about financial stability, or lack thereof. This is true for me too as a small business owner who operates in wellness and development spaces. Financial uncertainty can wreak havoc on our overall health and can cost us a sense of being ok. Personally, I’ve been closely following Danielle Alexandria’s tips for financially navigating covidtimes. In an article she wrote for Stnce, she outlines 10 areas of priority for dealing with economic uncertainty. While she can’t (or can she?) take away looming fears, she offers what I found to be grounded, practical advice for where to spend attention and energy. Try to find 30 minutes of time to yourself - I know it’s hard to do, but hello self-compassion - and then use the article as a checklist, working your way through each area. While this work might bring about new emotions or concerns, remember that the point of it is to bring care and attention to this area of your life, and that’s important. Should your job be lost or negatively impacted by COVID-19, this is a great place to start exploring your financial management options.
Ok....wow, I mean is there much more to say!? I hope there is and please say it! Share your thoughts and opinions pleeeease! <3 Thanks a ton Elisha, you're awesome as always.
Article by Nate Kogan: For The Love of People!!! № 3
Image borrowed with love from: Isabel Castillo Guijarro